there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
