Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize