you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
