Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize