I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
