obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
