It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
