oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
