Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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