So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i've created a new STD.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
