I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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