the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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