WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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