Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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