never play flip cup with pint glasses
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
