We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
