Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
