A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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