So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
