As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
