just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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