I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just googled if crying burns calories
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
