i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
