just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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