I wanna bring you to show and tell
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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