After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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