So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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