We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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