Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
