Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
