sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize