i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize