Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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