help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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