If i come over, it means nothing
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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