i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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