I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
