And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
