I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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