sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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