just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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