I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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