Jerry, you need to find god
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
