Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize