After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I am midnight drunk by noon
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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