what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
