hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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