She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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