I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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