this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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