And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
