I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
