She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
