He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
