If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
