I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
