apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
