guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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