they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
